This month people are talking about men’s health, including mental health. The stereotypes come out to play:
“Men don’t like to talk about difficult issues”
“Men tease each other and prefer bravado to vulnerability”
“Men don’t cry”
“Men don’t ask for help”
These and other cliches that easily trip off the tongue, need to be interrogated and challenged. Labeling men this way is not helpful. Some men might indeed behave in some of these ways. But if they do, it’s not because these are inherent qualities of males.
The reasons can be many, and in my experience of adult men, the behaviour of other men is not the problem.
Men do want to talk about difficult things, their struggles and fears. They might just be careful about who they talk to and when they do it.
Brene Brown shared what a man said to her after she spoke about shame:
“I like what you had to say…but my wife and daughter? They’d rather see me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall off. You say you want us to be vulnerable and real, but c’mon. You can’t stand it. It makes you sick to see us like that.”
She goes on to say: “Men are smart. They hear us asking for their vulnerability, but are also very aware that we may act scared or resentful when they show their vulnerable side.”
In small men’s groups around the world, more and more are celebrating the freedom to share their joys, sorrows, hopes, fears, struggles and successes – in their own way and being heard by other men, also in their own way.
At Dragonfly we facilitate a monthly men’s group.
We also offer online and individual meetings
Contact Hilton to find out more: 082 900 1452
